Episode 209

full
Published on:

3rd Nov 2023

Steve Sims: Go For Stupid

In this episode of The Guy Who Knows a Guy Podcast, the host, Michael Whitehouse, introduces the upcoming JV Connect networking event and interviews networking expert Steve Sims. Steve shares his inspiring journey, emphasizing the role of curiosity and determination in his success, and dispels the myth that networking is reserved for certain backgrounds or personalities. He highlights the significance of having a clear purpose and intention in networking and the importance of follow-up to maintain and deepen relationships. Steve provides insights into the strategy of categorizing connections based on their potential and offers practical advice on efficient networking for both introverts and extroverts. The episode concludes with a focus on the power of organization, delegation, and prioritization in networking. Steve's valuable insights shed light on the art of building meaningful and impactful connections in the world of networking.

Steve can be found at :

https://www.stevedsims.com/

https://simsdistillery.com/

And his new book is here:

https://goforstupid.com/

Mentioned in this episode:

JV Connect, December 12-13, 2023

Join us for JV Connect, the dedicated networking event December 12th and 13th, 2023 https://www.jv-connect.com

Transcript
Michael Whitehouse:

Welcome back to the guy who knows a guy podcast.

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We're so excited to be back with you.

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And this season we are counting

down to J V connect the first of its

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kind, December 12th to 14th, 2023.

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This is going to be an incredible

dedicated networking event, and you

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are going to want to be part of it.

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And this podcast here to help

prepare you to get the most

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out of this incredible event.

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I'm Michael Whitehouse,

the guy who knows a guy.

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And over the next few weeks, you're going

to get to hear from some of the best

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people in the industry about networking.

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As well as some solo training from me.

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So be sure to join us on December

12th to 14th for JB Connect.

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And now, let's get to the interview.

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Welcome once again to the guy

who knows the guy podcast.

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I'm Michael Whitehouse, the guy who

knows the guy and our guest today.

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I'm very excited to have on.

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It is Steve Sims, and I am super excited

because a few, a couple months ago, I was

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sitting down thinking, so who are some

of the networking influencers out there?

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And one name that came to mind was

Bob Berg, who you heard on the show

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a few weeks ago, and the other name

that came to mind was Steve Sims and.

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Now I've got the second one of those two

people, the two biggest networking things

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I can think of right in front of me.

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So let me tell you about him if

for some reason you don't know him.

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Do you know anyone that's worked with

Sir Elton John or Elon Musk, sent people

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down to see the wreck of the Titanic

on the seabed, or closed museums in

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Florence for a private dinner party,

and then had Andrea Bocelli serenade

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them while they ate their pasta?

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You do now!

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Quoted as the real life Wizard of Oz

by Forbes Entrepreneur Magazine, Steve

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Sims is the best selling author of...

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blue fishing, the art of making

things happen and go for stupid, the

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art of achieving ridiculous goals.

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Sought after coach, top rated speaker

after keynoting in a variety of

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networks, groups, associations, as

well as the Pentagon and Harvard twice.

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That's pretty impressive.

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Co founder with his son, Henry of

the leading community for creative

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disruptors, simsdistillery.

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com.

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Welcome to the guy who knows

a guy podcast, Steve Sims.

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That's a hell of a lead up.

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Steve Simms: Thank you very much.

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I don't know how I'm going to

keep that up, but I'll try.

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Michael Whitehouse: I have faith that

you will be able to keep that up.

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I have, have no doubt.

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So for those who do not know your story

about how you got started making these

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amazing connections, share just a little

bit about how you got started doing that.

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Steve Simms: No different

to everyone else.

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I literally just grew up in East

London son of a construction firm.

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So ended up working in the, in

the building trade very early on.

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But us entrepreneurs, we're

kind of built different.

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So something was in me

that was going, is this it?

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And I've always been a great believer.

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You need two things in life.

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You need curiosity and

you need aggravation.

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Aggravation will cause you

to actually do something.

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Curiosity will send you

down a path to find it.

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But if you're just curious

or just aggravated.

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It doesn't work.

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So get those two things married together.

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I had it by the bucket loads when I

was young and I just thought to myself.

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We are the combination

of the room we're in.

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We all know that now.

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I didn't know it so poetically back then,

but I just looked around at my bar and

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it was full of a bunch of broke bikers.

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And I'm like, well, hang on a minute.

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No one here is going anywhere.

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I'm one of them.

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I need to change my room.

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So I went out to try and

have those conversations.

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And a lot of people call

that networking now.

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And they call that, you know, kind

of like getting to know people

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and, you know, the influence.

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But I wanted to speak to people

that were very successful and ask.

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Why are you successful?

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How do you view relationships?

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How do you view time management?

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How do you view culture?

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And I wanted to have those conversations.

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Quite simply, I wanted to podcast

before podcasting existed.

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And so I went out to try and find a way.

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I left my construction firm and I

then got involved in a ton of jobs.

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That I was ill qualified for that made

me realize I should have been there.

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So I get this education from trying to

be in places that didn't work till in

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the end becoming what God built me for.

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I became the doorman of

a nightclub in Hong Kong.

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And while many people would have

gone, well, you've gone down.

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Yes, I had I now had a Harvard degree in

human psychology right in front of me.

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I was able to see how people with money

interacted with each other, but more

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importantly, how people pretended they

had money interacted with each other.

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How people celebrate and

how people commiserate.

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I got to see it all.

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So I got a great degree in learning

how people interacted with each other

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and then realized the key Of all

networking that allowed me to go from

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just being on the peripheral, being on

the outside, to actually being someone

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of desire, being someone in the circle

that someone didn't want to let go.

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And I became that person launched me into

a business where I basically launched the

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world's leading experiential concierge

firm, and then obviously writing the

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two books, blue fishing and go for

stupid to teach others how to do it.

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Michael Whitehouse: I love

so much about that story.

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And I think so much is just, well,

the first thing is that One of the

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pushbacks I get when I share with people

that, you know, anyone can network and

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there's opportunity out there and all

those principles is, well, that's easy

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for you to say because, you know, you

got lucky and you went to the right

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schools, you know, the right people.

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And, and, you know, it sounds

like you didn't go to the right

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schools to build your network.

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I mean, you did kind of the school of hard

knocks, but it's not like you didn't go to

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Harvard as a student and, and, you know,

meet all the right people who hooked you

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up with all the right jobs and get lucky.

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You.

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Went out there as the, the son of a

construction worker and said, Nah,

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I'm going to do something better.

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Which sounds like something pretty

much anyone could have done.

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Steve Simms: Yeah, again,

it was that aggravation.

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It all comes down to what

you're willing to settle for.

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You know, are you willing to settle

for your excuses or are you willing

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to settle for that education?

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Both of them are gonna send you down the

same path, but one will stop you short.

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There's a lot of people that go,

as you said, oh, it's easy for you.

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Oh, you are an extrovert.

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Oh, you can do it.

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That's bullshit.

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You know, I'm big, I'm ugly,

I'm crass, I'm inappropriate.

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But I had a need and that need

was I need to know how come

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you're successful and I'm not.

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Yep.

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And that was the early stage and

introvert, extrovert, those are badges.

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I had a need.

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I wasn't willing to settle for my income.

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I wasn't willing to settle

for shitty motorbikes.

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I wasn't willing to live

in a rough neighborhood.

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I wanted more of my life.

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I had a demand.

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Hey, if you're an introvert and you're

thinking, Oh, I can't do those things.

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Trust me, fella.

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I'm the, I'm one of the

biggest introverts out there.

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But I had a need that said,

right, if I'm going to do this,

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there's got to be a purpose.

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And that's all introverts need.

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Introverts need a reason.

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Why am I doing this?

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I feel nervous about it.

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Sure you do, Sonny.

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But you need to know what the reason is.

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If I can get in there and I can do that,

and I can come out with it with this, my

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house is better, my home is better, my

wife's better, my kids are better, Ah!

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Now I've got a reason.

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I just need to do.

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So, introverts, I personally think,

make the best networkers in the planet.

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But it's the need.

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You've got to have that aggravation.

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And if you want to kind of like

go, well, it's easy for you.

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Then why are you

listening to this podcast?

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You know, your, your excuses, you're,

you're just prying to one day.

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Your excuses are play pay your bar tab.

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They won't.

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So, you know, get out of your

excuses and start getting on.

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Michael Whitehouse: Yeah.

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And I, I totally agree with that idea

that introverts are better networkers, and

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I say this as an extrovert, because in.

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With extroverts, it's, it's lower cost

for me to just go meet more people.

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So I'm, I'll go to an

event and talk to everyone.

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Or as an introvert tends to be better

at follow up because you're like,

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I don't want it to be 10 people.

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Can I meet one person?

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Just have a really good

relationship with them.

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And actually, I'd love you to talk a bit

more about that because I was watching

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your, your talk this morning where,

where you're talking about the power of.

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Of that, that follow up of

sending a nice note or gift or

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whatnot and the leverage of that.

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So I'd like to talk about that, and

then the other thing I'd like to

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talk about is, is I often say that

I'm better at making connections and

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providing value early and not so good

at keeping track of the details and

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remembering to send people things.

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And I have the feeling that you'll

probably tell me something about, well,

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that's, that's a bullshit excuse and...

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You should get over it and do better.

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So I wanted to have you chime in on that.

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Steve Simms: Again, it's

that introvert thing.

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The introvert will look for the purpose.

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You know, you mentioned an extrovert

will go along to a networking event,

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and as long as he's got the eyeballs

and he's the center of attention and

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he's getting loads of focus and chit

chats and business cards, he's fine.

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But an introvert will go

along for two conversations.

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And when they have those conversations,

They don't want to have another two

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conversations the following week.

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So they will make sure that those

conversations turn into something.

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Again, we work with hopefully

minimum output, maximum impact.

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So make sure that everything

you do is to the best possible.

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We don't want to do a turkey shoot.

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It literally will wear me out.

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In fact, true story, I had an event, and

I've been doing this for years, and I've

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worked with everyone from Elton John,

the Vatican, Elon Musk, you know, I'm

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pretty successful, pretty well connected.

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But I went out to an event in

Beverly Hills the other day,

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and this was two weeks ago.

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And I went to a dinner at the Palms,

and we had this meeting, and there was a

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whole group of people there, and I knew

most of them, most of them knew me and

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my credentials, so I had the credibility,

there was no imposter syndrome, and I

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chatted with them, and I spoke with them,

and we conversed, and then I left the

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event, walked around the corner to another

restaurant, went up at the bar, sat at the

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bar, and had a drink on my own, just way

away from people, Okay, and of course, I

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could do a really good job of you know,

scaring people away from me, you know, I

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look like this, so I'm sitting there with

me old fashioned, no one ever sits near

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me, and I can make little notes of who

I met that night, that was, ah, this was

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a good chat, that's a great, Associate,

someone that you will bump into and go,

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Hey, Johnny, Hey, Bob, one of those.

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But then there were a few other

people that went, hang on a minute.

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I can take this deeper.

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You know, there's a network

there that I can help them with.

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They're doing an event that

I should be speaking at.

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They need a bit of coaching.

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They need help.

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I've got some solutions to them.

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And I made notes.

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And then with all of those notes,

once I've finished my drink, I go

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home the following day, I take those

notes and now I turn them into action.

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Okay, who did I meet last night?

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Great to meet you, John.

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All the best.

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See you again at the next event.

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Those are the associates.

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Those are the little fluff.

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But then there was me.

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Hey, great to chat with you.

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But I did notice you mentioned this.

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If this bothers you enough, should we

have a call to see how I can help you?

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And I will actually put those things

in and there may be someone that you

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feel as though you want to get into

that room, but you haven't displayed

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the value that you bring yet.

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So in that situation,

maybe send them your book.

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Maybe, and this is always a good

one, send them someone else's book.

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You see, everyone thinks the author is

going to send the author's book, but

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the amount of times I turn around and

I go, Hey, I see where you're going.

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A friend of mine is Cameron held

a friend of mine is Jim quick.

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A friend of mine is Gary Vee.

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I just want you to have that book.

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Because this may help you like it helped

me and send them someone else's book

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because they never expect an author if an

author sends you that book they're like,

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well, you know, hasn't cost you any money

because you're the author, you know, by

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you sending someone else's book, it shows

that you paid attention to that problem.

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And then you look for the

most viable solution to it.

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And you send them a gift.

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Minimum, they are they are just

that that they're guaranteed.

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to go.

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Thanks for the book.

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You know, we only met that.

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Well, look, you said you had a problem.

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I've coached people before

that have had that problem.

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And I found that this book actually

helped a lot of my clients.

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So if that does it, great.

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Next time we meet the drinks on you.

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But if it just validates and opens

you up to what the bigger problem is

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that you need some deeper movement

on, maybe we should schedule a call.

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Maybe we should get in touch a bit more.

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Maybe we should have a one on one and

you can go into whatever the other

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reasons are, but you're paying attention.

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There's the old classic line, they

won't care till you show you care.

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Michael Whitehouse: Pay attention.

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Yeah, that's a really interesting concept.

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I, I, I love how you put that because

a lot of the, the follow up concepts

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I hear are more like following

up for the sake of following up

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and sending a card to everyone.

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And, but this is more a matter

of deepening the relationship

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with the specific people.

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Not just everyone you meet and everyone

you connect with, but the specific people

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that, that you want to, and, and, and

clearly, you know, it sounds like the

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end result of that is hopefully some of

these relationships turned into business

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relationships, but you're focused on

how you can serve them first and then

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how that may turn into a business and.

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Remuneration back.

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Steve Simms: Well, hope is a

really shitty marketing strategy

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as far as I'm concerned.

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So I believe that we, we surf

the waves that we generate.

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If you go out and you meet 10 people,

you need to categorize those 10 people.

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There may be the first four that

just get a little text going,

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Hey, great to meet you last night.

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Good to know you.

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Then you may have another three

people there that you go, well,

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I can't really help them, but I

do know someone else that can.

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Hey, I heard what you were saying.

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I can't help you, but I'd love

to introduce you to someone.

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Would that be acceptable?

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And then the last ones are the

ones that you bring in to you and

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you know you've got to work on.

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You see, whenever I, I speak

on stages all over the planet.

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And one of the things that I've done

in the past is I've gone in and I've

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done the Sequoia tree conversation.

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Now you go in there and

you go, Hey, what's this?

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And you show a picture of Sequoia tree.

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Largest tree in the planet.

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So massive, so strong that they cut a

hole in it just so a bus can go through.

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And so they're all looking at these

amazing pictures up on stage of

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these bloody great sequoia trees.

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And then you go, what's this?

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And there's a seed on there.

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And I will often go out and I will

give people packs of sequoia seeds.

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Okay, I'd be like, there you

go, there's a sequoia seed.

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The largest tree in the planet

comes from what's in your hand.

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In fact, in your hand, you've got

a hundreds of those seeds, and you

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can still hold a hundred of those

potential trees with your fist tight.

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But what's the difference between

what you've got in your hand,

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And this and it's attention.

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See, when you get in the Sequoia

seed, you have to make sure that

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it's planted in the right soil.

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You need to make, make attention,

pay attention to its location, and

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you need to make sure the location

is the best one to allow that seed.

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It's full ability to grow.

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Okay.

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It's no good having a business

conversation with a new, new recruit.

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You've just met.

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in a strip joint, you

know, it's just location.

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So you make sure that sequoia seed

is planted in a location that's

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going to be fertile and going

to pay attention to its needs.

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And then you nurture it and you

protect it and you pay attention to

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it and you revisit it and then it

breaks soil as a tiny little leaf.

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Now you gotta make sure your dog

doesn't crap on it or dig it up.

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So again, you protect it, you focus

on it, you pay attention to it,

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you nurture it, you weed it, you

feed it with all the right vitamins

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it needs, you pay attention.

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When it becomes solid, your

dog can't do anything to it.

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And it is indestructible, but all of

the effort goes into the beginning.

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And the trouble is with relationships,

people go, well, I met you six months ago.

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Have you still remember me?

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Of course, they don't

fricking remember you.

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You've done no pain of attention.

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You haven't seeded, you haven't paid

attention, you haven't nurtured.

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So if you want sequoia trees

of relationships to be in your

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Rolodex or iPhone, you've got to

pay attention to the beginning.

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Not the latter part of the year,

or just thinking that by shoving

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up a hand and going, Hey, Steve,

that they're going to remember you.

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You've got to be the one that

puts all the attention in.

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Hmm.

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Michael Whitehouse: Yeah,

that's, that's certainly crucial.

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You can't just meet someone

and be like, I've been thinking

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about what I want from you.

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So clearly you've been thinking about me.

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Steve Simms: Yeah, that's the eye game.

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Yeah.

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Michael Whitehouse: And so, so I guess my

question, so one thing I focus on being

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a, ADHD extrovert is knowing that I'm

not good at the process of remembering,

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you know, a month later, did I send them

something or did I send them a book,

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that I always try to provide value early.

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So when I meet someone, I'm, I'm

listening for who can I introduce them

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to, who's a good connection I can make

for them, what's something I can do.

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up front and then where possible

providing value because I often

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don't know what I want from someone.

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So, and frankly, it's easier to think

about what you need than what I need

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because I need clarity in my business and

focus and all that stuff to know what I

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want, but I can listen for what you need.

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And so, so I try to do that up

front, but I'm, I'm less good at the

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remembering someone three months later

when I'm on a plane to, to send them

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a, you know, to send them something.

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So do you have like a process

for keeping track of that?

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Because I imagine your

Rolodex is substantial.

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Steve Simms: It is.

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And once the one, let's go

back to the Sequoia tree.

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Once the tree is fully

grown, it needs no watering.

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It needs no weed.

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And it's looking after itself.

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As long as you've got that strong

relationship, as long as you revisit it

363

:

every two to three years, it's still good.

364

:

You know but you've got to pay

attention and move with purpose.

365

:

So I will add, and my son's a you

know, like a very nerdy CRM guy and

366

:

he does all of these kind of things.

367

:

But me, I'll open up an Excel

spreadsheet and I will put the

368

:

people in there that I've met.

369

:

And then I will put in there one

week, three weeks, five weeks.

370

:

And then I will actually go

into my calendar and I will

371

:

just put a time in there.

372

:

And when I've spoken to you, I'll then

get into my calendar and I will fast

373

:

forward six months, put another calendar

reminder in there to catch up with you.

374

:

And I'll go, Oh, don't forget to

ask about the dog called Judy.

375

:

You know, so in six months time,

I'll phone you up and I'll be like,

376

:

Hey, just one, Michael, how was Judy?

377

:

And people are like, Whoa, you, you

remember the dog, you know, and you

378

:

do those kinds of things another way.

379

:

And I've got a couple of little cheats

here and I give you one, one good cheat.

380

:

There's a lot of times that we forget

to stay in contact with people and

381

:

we let it, we let it kind of cut off.

382

:

One of the things I like to do.

383

:

And again, These are not for associates.

384

:

These are not for buddy buddies.

385

:

These are for people that you really

want to show care to keep in your circle.

386

:

Okay.

387

:

I subscribe them to magazines

or subscription services.

388

:

Okay.

389

:

Now subscription services and magazines,

especially magazines, magazines are

390

:

going bankrupt on a daily basis.

391

:

Okay.

392

:

You can buy a year's

publication for like 18 now.

393

:

You know, you can't buy a couple of

decent cocktails for 18 bucks, but I

394

:

can actually meet you we can talk about.

395

:

Oh, you're you're impending.

396

:

Restoring of your house.

397

:

And then I go, Well, once you've

done the household, Oh, then

398

:

I've got to work on the garden.

399

:

Yeah, great.

400

:

You know, Oh, yeah, but then I'm

planning a trip in Italy, but I

401

:

don't know what I'm going to do.

402

:

You've got a house, you've got

gardening, you've got Italy.

403

:

So you look up magazines for, like, garden

restoration, or garden design, or first

404

:

time in Italy, or, you know beautiful,

you know, travel spots of Italy, and

405

:

you go on and you subscribe them to

that magazine, and then you send them

406

:

a little note, and you go, Hey, thanks

for last night, I really enjoyed it.

407

:

You mentioned about the restoration

of your house, and then you

408

:

had to focus on the garden.

409

:

By the way, I've just set

you up for a subscription for

410

:

a year with this magazine.

411

:

I hope it helps.

412

:

Now, magazines go out quarterly, okay?

413

:

Sometimes they go out biannually, okay?

414

:

The amount of emails and texts I get

that come to me, like, a few days after

415

:

the end of first quarter, and I can

literally look at the people contacting

416

:

me and go, Well, you've got your magazine,

you've got your magazine, you've got

417

:

your magazine, you've got your...

418

:

And it reminds them because nothing's

going on and then all of a sudden

419

:

they get that garden and they're

like, Oh, Steve, how is Steve?

420

:

Hey, Steve, how you doing?

421

:

I'm like, I'm great, thank you.

422

:

How's that garden getting on for you?

423

:

Hmm.

424

:

And it doesn't cost you anything, but now

even better, they're contacting you and

425

:

all you've done is invested 18 onto it.

426

:

I've had bigger tabs than that

in Starbucks, so it doesn't,

427

:

that doesn't cost a lot.

428

:

Michael Whitehouse: That's great.

429

:

I see that when you talk about

sending someone else's book too,

430

:

that you're sort of, in their

mind, co branding yourself to them.

431

:

So if I send you, you know,

Gary Vee's book, then every time

432

:

you see Gary Vee, you remember,

Oh, Michael sent me his book.

433

:

And you probably see Gary

Vee more than you see Michael

434

:

Whitehouse on the internet.

435

:

Steve Simms: There you go.

436

:

And you're also, you're also

triggering because you're now

437

:

putting yourself in alignment that

you and Gary have the same standard.

438

:

You see, if I send you my book, and yes,

it's an absolutely fantastic book, but

439

:

if I send you my book, it's my book.

440

:

But if I send you Gary, Jim's, Tony's,

any, any of those kinds of books,

441

:

you go, wow, he sent me that book.

442

:

He knows these people because sometimes,

you know, I will know and I'll, I'll

443

:

give you a little, a little trick here.

444

:

When you go to an event and you

see someone speaking, okay, that

445

:

has a book, go up to him and

you go, Hey, great conversation.

446

:

How can I order 20, 30, 10 signed books?

447

:

Now, here's a little thing

that you probably already know.

448

:

I've got, I think, four boxes of

signed books, because as soon as

449

:

they turn up, I sign them all,

and they just sit there, and then

450

:

someone goes, can I get your book?

451

:

And they get a signed copy, okay?

452

:

But when I'm buying them off of an

author at a show, I'm not paying the

453

:

main rate, I'm paying the author rate.

454

:

So I'm getting them cheaper,

and I'm getting them signed.

455

:

So now you're getting a book signed

by Gary V, Cameron Harrell, Jim Quick,

456

:

Steve Sims, whatever, and you're like,

whoa, he even got it signed for me.

457

:

He must be really, really

good buddies with him.

458

:

Now, people I've mentioned to you, I am,

but I've also sent out a bunch of books

459

:

from people that I'm not that tight with,

but also sent me a bunch of signed books.

460

:

Michael Whitehouse: Ah,

that is a great concept.

461

:

I love that.

462

:

And yeah, and so it

associates you with them.

463

:

It puts you near them in your mind

and also shows, you know, well, and

464

:

it doesn't necessarily put you above

where you are, but you, where you are,

465

:

cause you touch, if you do know them

or, you know, people like them, but

466

:

I guess we're thinking that way and

networking connections breed networking

467

:

connections, which is especially powerful.

468

:

Now it sounds like some of.

469

:

Some of what has helped you too

is just the head bash through

470

:

the brick wall sort of attitude.

471

:

I mean, your book's called Go For

Stupid, which sort of seems to

472

:

be a, like, I'm gonna do it and

screw you if you don't think I can.

473

:

So talk a little about the, the,

the mindset it takes, the energy.

474

:

For people who don't naturally

have that approach what, what is,

475

:

what does that take to be able to

just say, Oh, I'm just gonna do it.

476

:

Steve Simms: Buckets.

477

:

Let's talk about buckets for a second.

478

:

You stick a sponge in a bucket of

water inherently and automatically it's

479

:

just gonna soak up all of that water.

480

:

Okay?

481

:

You stick that exact same sponge in

a bucket of, of used old carb oil.

482

:

And he's going to attempt to suck

up all of that car oil, okay?

483

:

As we are people, if we stick our head in

a bucket full of negativity, depression,

484

:

oppression, recession, distraction,

distortion, we're soaking all of that up,

485

:

then there'd be no room for anything else.

486

:

Yeah, if we stick our head in

a bucket full of positivity,

487

:

what are we going to soak up?

488

:

So, you saying that these

people can't do that?

489

:

I'm saying that you're sticking

your head in the wrong bucket.

490

:

You've got to change your environment.

491

:

Do you remember I said about the tree?

492

:

Yeah.

493

:

Yeah.

494

:

You've got to change your location.

495

:

You've got to change what you listen to.

496

:

A friend of mine, Peter Diamandis,

who launched the X prize.

497

:

He said to me, never watches

the news in the morning.

498

:

Some of the times they'll watch

it at five o'clock at night.

499

:

But if it's of importance.

500

:

He'll get a text or something to pop

up on his phone, but he never watches

501

:

it because he wakes up in the morning.

502

:

He's all pumped.

503

:

It's a new day.

504

:

The sun's shining.

505

:

He lives well in Malibu.

506

:

Everything's great.

507

:

Turns the news on.

508

:

Two hours of doom and gloom.

509

:

Yeah.

510

:

Yeah.

511

:

Okay.

512

:

All of his optimism and

positivity is now fighting against

513

:

this distortion negativity.

514

:

So why try to fight it?

515

:

Ignore it.

516

:

Don't listen to it.

517

:

So, it's not a case of,

Oh, I can't do that.

518

:

It's a case of, well, maybe

you're in an environment that

519

:

doesn't allow you to do that.

520

:

Yeah.

521

:

You see, here's something for you,

and I'll pick on you on this, Michael.

522

:

If I say to you, okay, you've

got your podcast, you've got your

523

:

events, you've got your coaching.

524

:

What is your goal over the

next three, three years?

525

:

And you give me your goal.

526

:

And then I say, you're right,

Michael, we're going to do this.

527

:

It sounds impossible.

528

:

We're going to make it possible.

529

:

We're going to make the

impossible possible.

530

:

Impossible stands for I'm possible.

531

:

Right?

532

:

That's all very gritty, isn't it?

533

:

It's like you're going into

bloody war on a gladiator set.

534

:

And anything that rigid and fierce.

535

:

Cracks and breaks.

536

:

But one of the things I learned

with all of the amazing people

537

:

that I've worked with all over the

planet, is that they have childish

538

:

curiosity, and they gamify everything.

539

:

So if I said to you, Michael, what's

your goal for the next three years,

540

:

and you give me your goal, and I

turn around and I go, Is that it?

541

:

Surely we should, like, have

some fun with this, Michael.

542

:

What's the stupid goal we can have?

543

:

You like a car next year?

544

:

Why don't we go for five?

545

:

Now, here's the thing.

546

:

And you're gonna have to re watch this.

547

:

I want you to look at your

face over those two examples.

548

:

One of them had you a little bit cringey.

549

:

The other one had you

laughing and chuckling.

550

:

When you laugh and chuckle, you become

a child, your nuance become creative,

551

:

you explode with gamification and it's

not impossible because now it's a game.

552

:

Now it's a challenge.

553

:

Now in my concierge days, I would have

people going, Hey, I want, I want to

554

:

meet the rock band journey backstage

and we'd be like, well, okay, I hear

555

:

you, but how can we make that request?

556

:

Stupid.

557

:

How can we be really daft with this?

558

:

How could we just make it laughable?

559

:

We ended up sticking that client on

stage with the band and he's the shortest

560

:

term lead singer of Journey and he sang

four tunes live on stage in San Diego.

561

:

We had a client that wanted an

amazing dining experience in Florence.

562

:

We shut down the Accademia

de Galleria, set up a table

563

:

of six at the feet of David.

564

:

And then Michelangelo's David and then

brought Andrea Bocelli in to serenade

565

:

him while he hits his main course.

566

:

We take what you've asked.

567

:

and make it stupid.

568

:

Now here's the thing, we're in a

society today where we are really

569

:

fast to judge and very slow to listen.

570

:

And people love laughing at

each other, not in a good way.

571

:

And they want you to fail because most

people in the planet have a poor mindset.

572

:

And again, it's that location.

573

:

If everyone around you is

going, Oh, you can't do that.

574

:

You cry.

575

:

You're never going to be able to grow

up because change your location, get

576

:

into a room where people go, is that it?

577

:

You, you, you really going

to get the impact from that?

578

:

I just expected more out of you.

579

:

That's the room you need to be in.

580

:

So in today's world, we

actually try to push people.

581

:

Now I released go for stupid.

582

:

Last year last October,

it became a bestseller.

583

:

I think it's being tracked.

584

:

Bluefish got translated in nine languages

and is a bestseller in each go for stupid.

585

:

I think we're up to like

four or five languages.

586

:

We haven't completed

all the languages yet.

587

:

And we've hit bestseller.

588

:

I think in like three of those, we're

giving it away for free at go for stupid.

589

:

com.

590

:

We don't get any hair products

or the t shirt sales out of it.

591

:

We're not trying to hit anyone up, but

we want people to go for ridiculous goals

592

:

because in today's world, we're actually

laughing at people for the wrong reasons.

593

:

We should be supporting.

594

:

We should be challenging

and nine times out of ten.

595

:

The downside of that is that

you are the room you are in.

596

:

So is it your location

is holding you back?

597

:

Michael Whitehouse: Yeah.

598

:

Yeah, I love that.

599

:

I was talking to someone recently about

being afraid to get up and dance because

600

:

you don't want to, you know, look foolish.

601

:

And...

602

:

And, you know, the realization that

some people slowly have is that no one's

603

:

watching you dancing because they're

too busy worrying about themselves.

604

:

And then a lot of people, like me,

and probably you, the ones we judge

605

:

aren't the people dancing on the dance

floor, it's the people sitting in

606

:

the chairs who are afraid to get up.

607

:

Steve Simms: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

608

:

No, I'm the first one to dance.

609

:

When my wife starts kind of like

tapping her toes, I'm like...

610

:

Let's get it up.

611

:

And you're right.

612

:

Everyone's kind of like, there'll be those

little murmurs, there'll be those little

613

:

giggles, and then there's the people

there going, I want to get up as well.

614

:

I really want to get up.

615

:

I'm not going to miss out.

616

:

My life is not being audited by you.

617

:

So I'm going to live it to my rules,

my standards, and I'm going to

618

:

live it to the way that I want to.

619

:

And I think that's how

you should live your life.

620

:

Yeah.

621

:

Michael Whitehouse: Yeah.

622

:

And I, I know I hang out in the right

rooms because when I dance like a.

623

:

You know, white guy, people are like,

yeah, go Michael, because they see him.

624

:

I'm giving it a shot.

625

:

You know, people would rather watch

someone dance with passion than

626

:

sit in the chair and, and say, you

know, wish I could wish I could.

627

:

So where can, you know, it's, it's

easy to say, find a better room.

628

:

Yeah, but.

629

:

And, but you know, if, if someone's in

a place where maybe their spouse is not

630

:

supportive, but you know, they're not in

a position, you know, they're, they're

631

:

married to them, they're not going to

leave them and, you know, maybe their

632

:

family is not supportive or their, their

coworkers or, you know, people, it's,

633

:

it, it's not just go to a different room.

634

:

It's not like you go down the hallway

and there's, you know destructive

635

:

jerks and supportive, nice guys.

636

:

And you just like, Oh, the other

supportive, nice guys room.

637

:

So if, what would you

say to someone who's.

638

:

Who's it's more structural for them.

639

:

And it's not just find better friends.

640

:

How can they surround themselves

with better people when they

641

:

when it's built around them.

642

:

Steve Simms: Well, they're doing it now.

643

:

They don't have to go down the corridor.

644

:

They can start listening to podcasts.

645

:

They can start reading books.

646

:

They can join Facebook groups.

647

:

I know for a lot of people, they are

running, they are in toxic environments.

648

:

Well, look, be a certain

way in that environment.

649

:

And then when you're out of that

environment, you're driving in the car.

650

:

Pick good podcasts, read good

books, surround yourself with

651

:

good positive information.

652

:

You will break free.

653

:

I had a friend of mine.

654

:

He was a, he's a client and whenever

he would come to my events, I had

655

:

these events called speakeasies

and whenever he would come to the

656

:

event, he would always wear the

coolest sneakers that I've ever seen.

657

:

And I'm not a sneaker guy, but

I'd be like, they are cool.

658

:

And he'd be like, oh yeah, these

are like this, this Japanese brand.

659

:

And they're like 1, 200

and that, this and that.

660

:

Every day, and like over three

days, he'd wear like four

661

:

different pairs of sneakers.

662

:

Okay, and he collected them and then one

day I was having a stopover in his city

663

:

and I said, Hey, I've got a layover.

664

:

So, you know, should we go out for tea?

665

:

He's like, well, I'm down at the

pub with my mates and I went,

666

:

Oh, I'll come down and join you.

667

:

And he had the shitty pair of

old scuffed up Nikes on the

668

:

literally had a hole on them.

669

:

And I was like, what

the hell are you doing?

670

:

And I said, I never thought

you would have worn anything.

671

:

He's like, well, in this

environment, I'm actually scared

672

:

of wearing the good sneakers.

673

:

For fear of what my buddies will say

and I said, well, so you're telling me

674

:

you're living your standards to them.

675

:

And he was like, yeah, I was like, if you

want to do that as a slippery slope down.

676

:

So the following week he turns up

at this, this bar with his buddies.

677

:

Where's one of his cool sneakers.

678

:

And of course, all of his buddies like,

well, and they gave him a bit of a ribbon.

679

:

Following week, he wears a

different pair of sneakers.

680

:

And one of the guys turns around and

says, Hey, you know, I hate my...

681

:

Where do you get your sneakers from?

682

:

And he starts telling them.

683

:

The third week, two of the guys

are wearing decent sneakers.

684

:

You see, the point is people want good

standards, but somebody's got to be the

685

:

first one to get on the dance floor.

686

:

You may have a bunch of negativity

around you, but they may actually

687

:

be looking for someone to raise

the standards of the room.

688

:

Be those standards.

689

:

Michael Whitehouse: So it's not that

people want the room to be negative.

690

:

It's just, that's how it is.

691

:

And maybe they're waiting for someone.

692

:

It's always easy.

693

:

Steve Simms: It's always easy

to be negative, isn't it?

694

:

It's the easiest thing in the

world to rip people apart.

695

:

It's the easiest thing in

the world to be the naysayer.

696

:

But when someone breaks out and

has the strength to stand up, you'd

697

:

be surprised at how many people

go, Oh, I want to stand with you.

698

:

Michael Whitehouse: That is,

that's a very powerful point.

699

:

So you also need to leave your group of

friends, you don't have to leave your

700

:

family, maybe you just need to be the,

the example for them and they'll follow.

701

:

Bingo.

702

:

That's extremely powerful.

703

:

And that I, I can imagine that some

positive effects will knock on from that.

704

:

Steve Simms: Every time, every time.

705

:

Worst case scenario, you'll realize that

you've outgrown the room and you will

706

:

naturally just move into a different room.

707

:

Michael Whitehouse: That

is, that is really good.

708

:

Yeah.

709

:

And I love that, that

gopher stupid concept.

710

:

Because I think it's, I think for a

lot of people, if they think about,

711

:

you know, I want to, you know, make

another 20, 000, that feels hard.

712

:

Yeah.

713

:

But if it's, I want to make

another 200, 000, that feels crazy.

714

:

It's like, I just listened

to Dan Sullivan's new book,

715

:

10X Better Is Easier Than 2X.

716

:

Yeah.

717

:

That, that it's like, you know, I

want to make 10 percent more money.

718

:

Well, maybe we'll do a different

Facebook ad or whatever.

719

:

Well, how are we going to make, how are

we going to make 100 percent more money?

720

:

Oh oof.

721

:

Well, that's right.

722

:

Only one way we can do that, and

that is pretty clear what to do.

723

:

Steve Simms: And also you gotta

realize that if you try to make

724

:

20 grand extra next year, by going

for 100 grand and failing and

725

:

making 50, you know, you failed up.

726

:

Yeah.

727

:

And that's a big thing you

want to be focusing on.

728

:

Michael Whitehouse: Yeah.

729

:

Yeah.

730

:

That's that is really powerful.

731

:

So this has been a fantastic conversation.

732

:

I will definitely be be listening

back to it because all kinds of good.

733

:

I mean, I expected to be

a fantastic conversation.

734

:

It's Steve Sims, but it's been

everything I expected more.

735

:

Is there anything that you wish I had

asked you that I did not ask you yet?

736

:

Steve Simms: No, I think

I think we're good.

737

:

I think you know, you know

how could people follow me?

738

:

Maybe?

739

:

I don't know.

740

:

Well, I'm going to ask that one.

741

:

I'm sure you would, you know,

it's not your first rodeo.

742

:

No, I think we had some good questions.

743

:

I don't want to overload people,

but they've just got to start off

744

:

by, you know, changing the room,

Naveen, and they can do that by

745

:

listening to the podcast and books.

746

:

Michael Whitehouse: Fantastic.

747

:

So you did mention the, the go for stupid.

748

:

com website where they can get your book.

749

:

Are there other ways

that they can follow you?

750

:

Steve Simms: Steve D Sims.

751

:

Don't forget the D in there for

dashing and it's only one M in Sims.

752

:

So stevedsims.

753

:

com.

754

:

They can find out about the book and Sims

to still be my community, or they can go

755

:

onto Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, just

type in Steve D Sims and you'll find me.

756

:

I suppose I'm most I suppose I do

most of the work on Instagram but

757

:

if you want to jump on Instagram,

follow me and then send me a message.

758

:

Just let me know that you'll

heard me on this podcast.

759

:

Michael Whitehouse: Awesome.

760

:

And actually tell me a little bit

about the the Sims Distillery.

761

:

Steve Simms: We, I like going

into masterminds and I've spent

762

:

a lot of money in masterminds.

763

:

Some of them have been

absolutely brilliant.

764

:

Some of them have been great upsell

opportunities for people to try and

765

:

get me to buy the next level of it.

766

:

And it's been very annoying and

very irritating, but I wanted

767

:

to create the room that I wish

I had found when I was younger.

768

:

So I went around to a bunch of

my friends and we said, I said,

769

:

I want to set up that room.

770

:

I want to set up that mastermind.

771

:

So we get together.

772

:

Three times a year at a live event.

773

:

And we get together every Tuesday

morning, nine till 10, where we have

774

:

tech, we go through authors, we go through

expert hours, we go through hot seats.

775

:

So I wanted to build a community

that supported where, you know, your

776

:

credit card running through wasn't

the sole way that we would pick you

777

:

and allow you to come into the group.

778

:

So we have people apply.

779

:

We vet them, we stalk them, and

then we accept them or decline them.

780

:

But Sims Distillery is, is the, the

room that I created for my aggravation.

781

:

Michael Whitehouse: Hmm.

782

:

Oh, I love that.

783

:

Yeah.

784

:

That's kinda how it ended up making my,

my JV connect networking event that I

785

:

finally got fed up and I'm like, why isn't

anyone doing it the way it should be done?

786

:

Steve Simms: There you go

again, why don't I do that?

787

:

Is that aggravation again?

788

:

Michael Whitehouse: Yeah,

someone should do that.

789

:

Oh yeah.

790

:

It's that guy.

791

:

The guy with a gray beard.

792

:

He should.

793

:

Awesome.

794

:

Well, thank you so much.

795

:

It's been such an honor and

pleasure to, to interview you.

796

:

And I thank you for sharing everything

you have and not overwhelming,

797

:

but well educating our audience.

798

:

Steve Simms: Thank you.

799

:

Thanks for having me.

800

:

Michael Whitehouse: Thank you for joining

us for the guy who knows the guy podcast.

801

:

I'm Michael Whitehouse,

the guy who knows the guy.

802

:

And I hope you'll join us in December

from the 12th to the 14th for JV

803

:

connect, go to guy who knows a guy.

804

:

com for more details.

805

:

Now, if it's after December, 2023, and

you're listening to this, it's okay,

806

:

because we're going to be doing this event

every quarter to go to guy knows a guy.

807

:

com.

808

:

See what's new, see what's happening,

and of course check the show notes

809

:

to learn about our guests and how

you can get in touch with them.

810

:

Check out our next episode for

more great training, information,

811

:

and networking tips from Michael

Whitehouse, the guy who knows a guy.

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About the Podcast

The Guy Who Knows A Guy Podcast
They say it's not what you know, it's who you know, and it's true that a network is one of your most important assets. A network is not something you're born with. It's something you build. Every week, Michael Whitehouse, the author of The Guy Who Knows A Guy, and established connector in Southeast Connecticut will interview experts and entrepreneurs from Southeast Connecticut to share their expertise and experience with you.

He'll also answer your questions directly on topics of networking, sales, marketing, entrepreneurship and more. Email in your questions in text or audio format. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/guywhoknowsaguy/support

About your host

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Michael Whitehouse